“With a Little Help from My Friends”
A helpful article on the importance of Christian friendship by Michael A.G. Haykin.
How often do we reflect on the value of friendship as Christians? Looking back over my life since I began following Christ, I do not think I have given sufficient thought to this aspect of life. I have come to value it more and more over the years. This shift has come most acutely through seasons of difficulty and sadness.
In between those seasons—and sometimes in the midst of them—men like Michael Haykin have helped me appreciate the value of brotherhood and camaraderie. The following is a brief excerpt from an article he wrote years ago titled “With a Little Help from My Friends”:
Friendship in the Christian Tradition
It is instructive to observe that the spread of the church throughout the Roman Empire in the centuries immediately after the death and resurrection of Christ did not negate this rich appreciation of friendship. Despite the Christian emphasis on showing love to all men and women—family, friends, acquaintances, even enemies—friendship continued to be highly valued. In fact, the emphasis placed on the unity in Christ of all Christians encouraged a high degree of spiritual intimacy that resembled and even surpassed the intimacy considered by Graeco-Roman paganism to be essential to the experience of genuine friendship.1
Gregory of Nazianzus (c.329-389), a leading fourth-century Greek Christian theologian, could thus write of his friendship with Basil of Caesarea (c.330-379) during their time together as students in Athens in the 350s:
“In studies, in lodgings, in discussions I had him as companion. . . . We had all things in common. . . . But above all it was God, of course, and a mutual desire for higher things, that drew us to each other. As a result we reached such a pitch of confidence that we revealed the depths of our hearts, becoming ever more united in our yearning.”2
Given this estimation of friendship, it is no surprise that Gregory could also state, “If anyone were to ask me, ‘What is the best thing in life?’, I would answer, ‘Friends’.”3
In the Middle Ages, Ælred of Rievaulx (1110-1167), an English Cistercian monk, penned a classic on this subject, Spiritual Friendship. For Ælred, genuine friendship must “begin in Christ, continue in Christ, and be perfected in Christ.” And such spiritual friendship is to be highly prized:
“In human affairs nothing more sacred is striven for, nothing more useful is sought after, nothing more difficult is discovered, nothing more sweet experienced, and nothing more profitable possessed. For friendship bears fruit in this life and in the next.”4
At the beginning of the modern era, John Calvin (1509-1564), who has had the undeserved reputation of being cold, harsh, and unloving, also had a rich appreciation of friendship. The French Reformed historian Richard Stauffer reckoned that there were few men at the time of the Reformation “who developed as many friendships” as Calvin.5 Two of his closest friends were his fellow Reformers William Farel (1489-1565) and Pierre Viret (1511-1571). Calvin celebrated his friendship with these two men in his preface to his Commentary on Titus, where he stated,
“I do not believe that there have ever been such friends who have lived together in such a deep friendship in their everyday style of life in this world as we have in our ministry. I have served here in the office of pastor with you two. There was never any appearance of envy; it seems to me that you two and I were as one person. . . . And we have shown through visible witness and good authority before men that we have among us no other understanding or friendship than that which has been dedicated to the name of Christ, has been to the present time of profit to his church, and has no other purpose but that all may be one in him with us.”6
This brotherly friendship is expressed in the correspondence of these three men. Extant are 163 letters from Calvin to Farel, 137 from Farel to Calvin, 204 from Calvin to Viret, and 185 from Viret to Calvin. Not only do they frankly discuss theological problems and ecclesiastical matters, they demonstrate much openness about the problems of their private lives.
To note but one example: On January 27, 1552, Calvin wrote to Farel and chided him for reports that he had heard—true reports one must add—about the undue length of Farel’s sermons. “You have often confessed,” Calvin reminds his friend, “that you know this is a fault and that you would like to correct it.” Calvin went on to encourage Farel to shorten his sermons, lest Satan use Farel’s failing in this regard to destroy the many good things being produced by his ministry.
Encouragement for Today
I want to encourage you to read the rest of his article, where he traces this idea of Christian friendship through the ages. I pray it will be as valuable to you as it was to me!
Coram Deo
Carolinne White, Christian Friendship in the Fourth Century (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1992), 57.
De vita sua 225ff. [trans. Denise Molaise Meehan, Saint Gregory of Nazianzus: Three Poems (The Fathers of the Church, vol. 75; Washington, D.C.: The Catholic University of America Press, 1987), 83-84].
Cited in White, Christian Friendship, 70.
Spiritual Friendship 1.9; 2.9 [trans. Mary Eugenia Laker (Kalamazoo, Michigan: Cistercian Publications, 1977), 53, 71].
The Humanness of John Calvin, trans. George H. Shriver (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1971), 47.
Cited Stauffer, Humanness of Calvin, 57.
 | A guest post by
|